Dickens & Rumi
Cover of THE WAY I USED TO BE

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THE WAY I USED TO BE

Age rating, content warnings & parent guide

Amber Smith

Is THE WAY I USED TO BE appropriate for your child? See the reviewed age guidance, content cautions, positive themes, and supporting evidence below.

Explore the age guidance, content cautions, positive qualities, and supporting notes for THE WAY I USED TO BE by Amber Smith. This book is recommended for ages 16+; content notes include Sexual content & nudity, Frightening scenes, Alcohol or drugs; positive qualities include Courage & resilience, Positive messages.

Ages 16+Book 1 · The Way I Used to BeSource checked

Why this age? The novel centers on sexual assault, trauma symptoms, self-blame, depression, substance use, sexual situations, and recovery. Its emotional intensity and mature themes make it better suited to older teens. This is guidance, not a safety guarantee; reading level and family context may differ.

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10-second decision

Is this likely to fit your family?

Age guidanceAges 16+
Strongest cautionsSexual content & nudity 5/5 · Frightening scenes 4/5 · Alcohol or drugs 3/5
Strongest positivesCourage & resilience 4/5 · Positive messages 4/5
Series positionBook 1 · The Way I Used to Be
Recommendation3.5/5

Courage & resilience; strongest caution: sexual content & nudity.

This is the quick scan. Open the evidence and methodology below for the basis behind each rating.

Quick context

What parents should know

The novel centers on sexual assault, trauma symptoms, self-blame, depression, substance use, sexual situations, and recovery. Its emotional intensity and mature themes make it better suited to older teens. This is guidance, not a safety guarantee; reading level and family context may differ. Courage & resilience; strongest caution: sexual content & nudity.

Readiness snapshotAge guidance: 16+Main watch-out: Sexual content & nudity 5/5
Recommendation 3.5/5

Editorial rating

How this review was built

Dickens & Rumi editorial
Source checkedPublication method
17Scored categories
17Evidence notes
1Explicit 0/5 checks
Nov 8, 2026Last updated

Dickens & Rumi describes what is present; families decide what matters to them. Community reactions are kept separate from official content ratings.

How ratings workReport a rating or series issue
Review depth17 scored categories17 evidence notes
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At a glance

Recommended age16+

Strongest cautions

  • Sexual content & nudity5/5
  • Frightening scenes4/5
  • Alcohol or drugs3/5

Strongest positives

  • Courage & resilience4/5
  • Positive messages4/5
  • Good role models3/5

Reading order

Series progression

All known volumes are shown. Reviewed books include age guidance and cautions; books still being reviewed are clearly marked.

Next volumeBook 2 · THE WAY I AM NOWStrongest cautions: Romance 4/5 · Sexual content & nudity 4/5Open next review →
  1. Book 1 · THE WAY I USED TO BEAges 16+
    Sexual content & nudity5/5Frightening scenes4/5Alcohol or drugs3/5Romance3/5Strong language3/5Violence3/5Death of a character1/5Graphic injury1/5LGBTQIA characters1/5Products & advertising1/5
    Starting point
  2. Book 2 · THE WAY I AM NOWAges 16+
    Romance4/5Sexual content & nudity4/5Frightening scenes3/5Strong language3/5Alcohol or drugs2/5LGBTQIA characters2/5Violence2/5Graphic injury1/5
    Gets gentler

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What should you do next?

One review should lead naturally to the next useful choice.

Lower cautionsTry something gentlerLIGHTLARK SAGAOpen review →Similar fitCompare another titleTHE WAY I AM NOWCompare →Keep browsingSearch for another bookUse age, interests, vibe, or content preferences.Search →

Similar, with lighter cautions

Want something gentler?

These reviewed titles have overlapping age guidance and a lower total caution score than THE WAY I USED TO BE. Open each review for the details.

LIGHTLARK SAGAAlex AsterAges 14+7 points lighter on published cautionsBOOKThe SingingAlison Croggon · 2008Ages 13+6 points lighter on published cautionsTHE WAY I AM NOWAmber SmithAges 16+4 points lighter on published cautionsHADESAlexandra AdornettoAges 14+5 points lighter on published cautions

What’s in it?

Products & advertising1/5
Why this rating?

Standard references to common brands consistent with contemporary life.

Death of a character1/5
Why this rating?

There are no major character deaths, though the trauma involves the loss of a version of the self.

Strong language3/5
Why this rating?

Includes moderate strong language consistent with realistic high school settings.

LGBTQIA characters1/5
Why this rating?

Secondary characters or background context may reflect diverse identities, but they are not the primary focus.

Romance3/5
Why this rating?

Dating, attraction, relationships, and changing feelings are significant parts of Eden’s adolescence and recovery.

Frightening scenes4/5
Why this rating?

A realistic sexual assault and its ongoing effects create intense fear, trauma, isolation, and emotional distress throughout the story.

Sexual content & nudity5/5
Why this rating?

Sexual assault is the defining event, with additional sexual situations and discussion of consent, pressure, and trauma.

Alcohol or drugs3/5
Why this rating?

Characters engage in underage drinking and some experimentation as coping mechanisms.

Violence3/5
Why this rating?

The central incident is a sexual assault. There is emotional violence and some interpersonal conflict throughout.

Checked and not flagged

No concern recorded in these categories

These categories were explicitly scored 0/5 in the published review. This is not a guarantee that every edition or reader experience is identical.

Graphic injury · 0/5

What’s good in it?

Courage & resilience4/5
Why this rating?

Eden’s persistence in confronting trauma, reclaiming agency, and seeking a path forward reflects substantial emotional courage.

Creativity & curiosity2/5
Why this rating?

Encourages creative expression as a potential outlet for processing emotions.

Diverse representation2/5
Why this rating?

Presents a range of typical high school social dynamics and individual experiences.

Educational value2/5
Why this rating?

Provides insight into the psychological impacts of sexual assault and the difficulty of speaking out.

Kindness & empathy3/5
Why this rating?

Empathy and support matter, although the protagonist also encounters betrayal, silence, judgment, and failures of care.

Positive messages4/5
Why this rating?

Strong themes address consent, survivor blame, trauma, support, accountability, self-worth, and the difficult process of healing.

Good role models3/5
Why this rating?

Characters make harmful and understandable choices, while supportive people and eventual help model accountability and recovery.

Family discussion

Talk about it

Conversation starters based on this title’s published content notes.

  1. What did courage look like in this story? Was being brave always the same as being fearless?
  2. Were there any mature relationship themes worth talking through together?
  3. Which choice in THE WAY I USED TO BE would you have made differently, and why?
  4. Who changed the most in THE WAY I USED TO BE, and what caused that change?
Discuss this title with other parents

Community perspective — separate from editorial ratings

What families noticed

Community signal

Community ratings and written reactions are a separate layer. They do not automatically change Dickens & Rumi’s official age guidance or content scores.

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Related by age fit, format, and catalogue context.

You’re hereTHE WAY I USED TO BE
THE WAY I AM NOWAmber SmithAges 16+LIGHTLARK SAGAAlex AsterAges 14+Ace of ShadesAmanda Foody · 2018Ages 14+EONAAlison GoodmanAges 14+

These content notes are a starting point, not a guarantee. Review the evidence and use your own judgment before choosing a title.

Something wrong with this guide? Report age, caution, series, cover, or title issues.