Dickens & Rumi
Cover of THE WAY I USED TO BE

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THE WAY I USED TO BE

Amber Smith

Explore the age guidance, content cautions, positive qualities, and supporting notes for THE WAY I USED TO BE by Amber Smith. This book is recommended for ages 16+; content notes include Sexual content & nudity, Frightening scenes, Alcohol or drugs; positive qualities include Courage & resilience, Positive messages.

Ages 16+Source checked

Why this age? The novel centers on sexual assault, trauma symptoms, self-blame, depression, substance use, sexual situations, and recovery. Its emotional intensity and mature themes make it better suited to older teens. This is guidance, not a safety guarantee; reading level and family context may differ.

Quick view

At a glance

Recommended age16+

Strongest cautions

  • Sexual content & nudity5/5
  • Frightening scenes4/5
  • Alcohol or drugs3/5

Strongest positives

  • Courage & resilience4/5
  • Positive messages4/5
  • Good role models3/5

What’s in it?

Products & advertising1/5
Why this rating?

Standard references to common brands consistent with contemporary life.

Death of a character1/5
Why this rating?

There are no major character deaths, though the trauma involves the loss of a version of the self.

Graphic injury1/5
Why this rating?

There is no graphic gore in the story.

Strong language3/5
Why this rating?

Includes moderate strong language consistent with realistic high school settings.

LGBTQIA characters1/5
Why this rating?

Secondary characters or background context may reflect diverse identities, but they are not the primary focus.

Romance3/5
Why this rating?

Dating, attraction, relationships, and changing feelings are significant parts of Eden’s adolescence and recovery.

Frightening scenes4/5
Why this rating?

A realistic sexual assault and its ongoing effects create intense fear, trauma, isolation, and emotional distress throughout the story.

Sexual content & nudity5/5
Why this rating?

Sexual assault is the defining event, with additional sexual situations and discussion of consent, pressure, and trauma.

Alcohol or drugs3/5
Why this rating?

Characters engage in underage drinking and some experimentation as coping mechanisms.

Violence3/5
Why this rating?

The central incident is a sexual assault. There is emotional violence and some interpersonal conflict throughout.

What’s good in it?

Courage & resilience4/5
Why this rating?

Eden’s persistence in confronting trauma, reclaiming agency, and seeking a path forward reflects substantial emotional courage.

Creativity & curiosity2/5
Why this rating?

Encourages creative expression as a potential outlet for processing emotions.

Diverse representation2/5
Why this rating?

Presents a range of typical high school social dynamics and individual experiences.

Educational value2/5
Why this rating?

Provides insight into the psychological impacts of sexual assault and the difficulty of speaking out.

Kindness & empathy3/5
Why this rating?

Empathy and support matter, although the protagonist also encounters betrayal, silence, judgment, and failures of care.

Positive messages4/5
Why this rating?

Strong themes address consent, survivor blame, trauma, support, accountability, self-worth, and the difficult process of healing.

Good role models3/5
Why this rating?

Characters make harmful and understandable choices, while supportive people and eventual help model accountability and recovery.

Family discussion

Talk about it

Conversation starters based on this title’s published content notes.

  1. What did courage look like in this story? Was being brave always the same as being fearless?
  2. Were there any mature relationship themes worth talking through together?
  3. Which choice in THE WAY I USED TO BE would you have made differently, and why?
  4. Who changed the most in THE WAY I USED TO BE, and what caused that change?
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These content notes are a starting point, not a guarantee. Review the evidence and use your own judgment before choosing a title.

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